Back in November 2009 I wrote a post entitled Maybe Your Business Sucks Because You’re a Flake. In it I lamented the sad state of affairs of people simply not doing what they say they will do when they say they will do it.
Soon after that post a fellow speaking professional Ed Rigsbee posted the following via LinkedIn:
What keeps you from doing what you say you are going to do? I believe this to be an important topic in today’s economic condition.
And he asked for private replies.
My reply to Ed read:
In the context of living into commitments, I can say with certainty I do as I say. In fact I go to great lengths to make sure that I either don’t commit or that the commitment is doable. My career over the last 30 years has been built on that very foundation.
Well, the results are in via Transforming Your Commitment into Reality at Ed Rigsbee’s Effective Executive blog and as Richard Dawson used to say, “Survey says:”
16% – Poor prioritizing
11% – Fear of failure/lack of self confidence
10% – Lack of time
9.5% – Lack of focus/distractions
9.5% – No motivation/purpose/passion
8.5% – Over commitment
8.5% – Change in priorities
4% – Circumstances beyond personal control
5% – Miscellaneous
18% – Denial (I always do what I say response)
Notice that my reply to Ed was not an outlier. In fact the majority of folks offered that they always do what they say they will do.
To which Ed writes:
I was quite amazed at one of the responses that kept repeating, “I always do what I say.” First, that was not the question, however quite a number of respondents seemed to feel it necessary to tell me that they were not guilty of my query. Second, I did not believe a one of them. Be it to customers and colleagues or family and friends—even to one’s self; not a one of us ALWAYS does what we say!
So Ed called “bullshit” on my answer!
Not only that, the majority of respondents share the same opinion (delusion?) of their ability to live into commitments. – referenced above as ‘Denial’
Upon reflection Ed, I offer the following thoughts:
- The question that I answered was indeed not the question that was asked. This would mean that I have ADD, a separate malady entirely.
- You are right. None of us wears an angelic commitment halo. For fear that my self-stated halo slips down to choke me, I’d like to retract the use of ‘certainty’ in my original answer.
- The folks that offered the other 82% of reasons are really just making excuses.
That said, I also believe that the number one reason folks stumble re this issue is an amalgamation of many of the responses – they fall into the “yes trap”. They don’t want to disappoint (boss, family, etc.) so they over commit and say yes. They don’t want to appear inadequate so they over commit. They are incapable of prioritizing so they over commit.
- As much as I appreciate your suggestions, call me a cynic. No amount of coaching or help from an accountability buddy, paid or otherwise, is going to help the serial offender.
- The dilemma has two parts. The ‘doing what you say’ and the ‘when you say you will do it’. The great thing is you can modulate either or both parts to keep your word.
It takes introspection, a conscious effort and ongoing work to get this whole ‘living into commitments’ issue squared away.
And that’s why folks that can be counted on to keep their word are so darn memorable.